Funny Bones

A highlight in researching graveyards is the headstone inscription. Below is a selection of some of the more eccentric ones collected from New England cemeteries.

 

In memory of Mr. Nathaniel Parks

Aged 19, who on 21, March 1794

Being out hunting and concealed in a ditch

Was casually shot by Mr. Luther Frink.

 

She was very Excellent for

Reading and Soberness.

(Mary Brooks, d. 1736, aged 11)

 

Solomon Touslee, Jr. who

Was Killed in Pownal, Vermont July 15, 1846,

While repairing to grind a scythe on a stone

Attached to the gearing in the woolen factory.

He was entangled.   

His death was sudden and awful.

 

To the four husbands of

Miss Ivy Saunders

1790, 1794, 1808, 18??

Here lie my husbands, One, Two, Three

Dumb as men could ever be          

As for my fourth, well, praise be God,     

He bides for a little while

Above the sod.         

Alex, Ben, Sandy were the first three names,

And to make things tidy

I’ll add his – James.

 

Asa Whitcom,

A Pillow of the settlement.

(note: more likely, a Pillar of the settlement!)

 

Capt. Samuel

Jones’ leg which was

Amputated July 17, 1804.

 

 

Beneath this stone and not above it,

Lies the remains of Anna Lovett.

Be pleased, dear reader not to show it     

For twixt you and I, no one does covet   

To see again this Anna Lovett.

Left us May 17, 1769.

 

Sources:

Bevis Hillier. Dead Funny

Alfred Clemont Rush. Death and Burial in Early Christianity

The Peter Pauper Press. Comic Old Epitaphs From The Very Best Old Graveyards