Been pulling out all the stops (and more than a little hair) over the past week to make sure this is is as polished as I can possibly make it. To date, I have:
- Pumped an extraordinary amount of cash into my local coffee shop. (Note: the caffeine and the banging of my head against their tables seems to have helped creativity flow).
- Joined a writing group where we come in, say hello, shut up, and then write for a couple of hours. (Somewhat helpful, but not as much as mass quantities of caffeine and head banging).
- Exercised–because it’s amazing what comes into my mind when the endorphins flow. (Ok, I’m lying. If my ass gets any bigger, I could star in Sir Mix-A-Lot’s remake of Baby Got Back).
- Brought in beta readers to read my initial draft and summary. (Make that bribing and browbeating said beta readers. Didn’t read The Godfather for nuthin, baby).
- Read other authors and analyzed how they wrote their first 50 pages. (Vast pits of deepest, darkest despair experienced over this one–not recommended).
- Printing out multiple hard copies to catch the small errors. (Sierra Club, I am so very, very sorry for all the trees I killed today).
Go ahead. Ask me what I think of it. Please.
YOU: So, What do you think of the submission?
ME (in my mind): Are you freaking serious?? You want to know what I think of it? Fine, I’ll tell you what I think of it. It’s a complete D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R! How the hell I ever came up with this POS idea is beyond me! What an absolute bollocking waste of my time! I can’t believe I ever thought the judges would take any of this crap seriously!
ME (actually): Not too bad, I guess. Think it’s finally coming together. Perhaps a few more edit checks will do the trick.