More Funny Bones


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 Below are some more eccentric headstone inscriptions from New England cemeteries.

 

Sacred to the memory of

Inestimable worth of unrivalled

Excellence and virtue, N.R., whose ethereal

Parts became seraphic May 25th, 1767.

 

 

She lived with her husband fifty years

And died in the confident hope of a better life.

 

 

First a cough carried me off

Then a coffin

They carried me off in.

 

 

The town was settled in 1748

By Germans who emigrated to this place with the promise

And expectation of finding a prosperous city, instead of which

They found nothing but wilderness.

Rev. John Starman  d. 1854, aged 72

 

 

In memory of Mr. Peter Daniels

Born Aug. 7, 1688

Died May 26, 1746

Beneath this stone, a lump of clay,

Lies Uncle Peter Daniels,

Who too early in the month of May

Took off his winter flannels.

 

 

Captain Thomas Stetson

Who was killed by the fall of a tree, d. 1820 a. 68. 

Nearly 30 years he was master

Of a vessel and left that

Employment at the age of 48

For the less hazardous one of cultivating his farm.

Reader remember,

Man is never secure from the arrest of death.

 

 

Elijah Bardwell d. 1780

Having but a few days survived ye fatal night, when he was flung

From his horse; and drawn by

Ye stirrups 26 rods along ye path,

As appeared by the place where

His hat was found and here

He had spent ye whole of the

Following severe cold night

Treading down the snow in

A small circle.  The family he

Left was an aged father,

A wife and three small children.

 

 

This is what I expected

But not so soon.

William Reese, 1872 – aged 21

 

(c) 2008 by G.E. Anderson 

 

Sources:

Bevis Hillier. Dead Funny

Alfred Clemont Rush. Death and Burial in Early Christianity

The Peter Pauper Press. Comic Old Epitaphs From The Very Best Old Graveyards

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